1/21/2025
good evening!
today was something. it snowed near the city, which is unusual for the area that i live in. it's been an adjustment because a few years ago, the coldest temperature we would see in the winter was about 40-50 degrees. it's been a welcome change, but i worry about what this means in the greater scope of things.
i feel much better than i did a few days ago, at least physically. there's been something weighing on me a little. i think that i'm too pushy about how i want people to feel. it's tough to explain? i don't know if i'm projecting my own insecurities on people and how we interact or if they're genuinely feeling what i think they do. i want to reach out to check on people that i think i'm friendly with, except i can't for fear of misreading what they might be dealing with. for example, i have been trying to check in with a new acquaintance i made but he seems to be trying to distance himself. i did ask if he was alright and he said yes and i'm not emotionally inept enough to overstep and think otherwise. except when i tried to talk to him a few hours later, i got ignored. i don't know how to handle the situation and i think that i'm being a narcissist when i assume that he wants nothing to do with me. it's throwing me off because i don't know how to find a balance. i know that i'm being genuine but when something like this happens, it becomes hard to convince myself of it. i know that he hasn't done anything and that i'm being a bit insane but i don't know what to do.
it feels good to get it off my chest, at least. i hope i feel a little more normal in the upcoming days. my classes start up again so at least i'll have a distraction.
thank you if you read this for whatever reason. goodnight!