5/3/2025
oops, i've forgotten to post today's diary 3 times. i kept getting distracted! 😪
hi, all.
today i've been thinking about something i think everyone deals with, except it's a little more complicated for me. i have had this friend that has been unconditionally there for me for 6 years. he's seen all of my sides, i think. i used to have trouble consistently sticking to things or feeling comfortable anywhere. i'd flake on people because of this a lot. he stuck with me through that and when i'd disappear, like i so often did, he'd be the only person who was concerned. i'm sure of this. in more recent weeks, i've been thinking that i took all of this for granted and when i follow this line of thinking, i feel as if. i might like this person? it just feels like labeling it as romantic is kind of undermining it. i do feel that way, but i think he's also so much more to me. i haven't ever felt like this, not even about the person that i was previously in love with, so it's giving me a headache. i could also just be getting too attached. i tend to do that?
i can't make sense of my feelings, but i know with absolutely certainty that i want to keep this person around me for as long as i can and as long as he wants to be. i'd like to be more appreciative than i have been, too.
it's a weird situation, i'm going to go see if talking about it with a friend helps at all! goodnight!