8/23/2025
i finally managed to catch up on things!
so i've got my notebooks ready for school and on monday, i've got to pick up the books i'll need for the semester and maybe get a bus pass? i'm excited to get moving
about one of my entries a few days ago and a missed connection: yes! i think that our circumstances are different and more than professional, i meant too many personal failings – which really do weigh on you and leave you wondering what you could've done better, something i think about too often and was half of the reason why i started writing this – i hadn't ever seen anyone explain it in that way. i remember i told someone this once and he suggested ego death, and i still don't fully understand that, even years later.
being conditioned to think that best is behind you (and in my own case, that maybe you squandered all of it) is tough to swallow. i liked getting a bit of a validation from someone that this isn't unique to me! i know it isn't, but it felt sort of abstract or like a distant truth that you don't see, if that makes sense. it's tough for me to feel connected to things like that.
anyway, this is getting a little long so i'll stop here! but i'll reach out soon, when i can stay a 👻