9/3/2025
hello!
i had an idea for this long entry rattling around in my head all day, but now it's time to write and i'm way too tired
i will try to get some of these ideas out, though i can't promise they'll read as well as they sounded in my head
a few days ago, i wrote something about how i was afraid to create and to put something out? i don't want to get into specifics, but one of these ideas was a short story about my grandpa, who passed in october 2023, and what it was like to see him become a completely different person in the final months of his death from dementia
and the day before he died, i very nearly didn't go see him because i felt exhausted (like i do tonight) but i pushed through to go visit him and i'm glad that i did and i'll hold that feeling for the rest of my life
i bring it up because in lecture today, my professor was speaking and it came up that our culture and experiences shape our art and that we've got a responsibility to put these things out for others to read and to learn from (but in a much less preachy way than i'm phrasing it right now, sorry for that) and it felt like he was speaking directly to me in that moment
so, i'll try, i think, if only for my grandfather
in closing, every time i eat powdered donuts, i think of him, and maybe that's also why i want to do something for him
thanks 4 reading